Thank You
For the longest time ( now that I lost the ebook version of Mahabharata when my ipad went kaput), I thought the end of the Mahabharata epic was funny. Peculiar, and leaving me feeling stupefied.
I thought Duryodhana could have been roasted, basted and grilled in the pits of fire as the definite ending for such a character. So, it stayed with me because he did not meet that fate.
Instead, Yudisthra met Duryodhana in the realms of the happiness and eternity amongst heroes, family and friends.
This morning, listening to Dr Wayne Dyer, on The Tao Te Ching, I realised that people, those people who acted that way in my life, I should thank them. For them to make the decision to act impropriately, had given me countless opportunities, to learn, improve, and perhaps, maybe not thrn but perhaps one day, transcends to higher realms of understanding.
If I curse, get angry and chose not to comprehend the situations and the reasons behind the acts that the so called bad people do, then ..I just wasted it, again and again. Think of all the resource the universe has allocated to make it happen.
Let go. Let be.
Thank them.
Thank God for everything.
What about ego, and humble bragging about accomplishments, self gloating habbits, pompousity, self importance ..?
Start giving and putting others first. My artistic talents, what of it? I must not seek acknowledgement and recognition. Share and gift it. With love.
I feel guilty talking about my mishaps and misfortunes but not also writing about how lucky I am that Allah swt has given me numerous other chances when I erred and when I fell. You see, walaupun selepas kena game, atau dikenakan, selalunya, I always felt I was somehow saved ..
At some of the jobs that I left ( some memang mutually parted, but some memang ala dipecat, walau on paper cantik ..), walau bukan terus otomatik dapat ( the waiting yg uji sabar and faith) after some time, ada rezeki lain. Sometimes, better things come along. Most is about me the best I can with given opportunities.
Sahkan beras pun kena tanak dulu kan! Hidup ni kalau tak ngajar kite to be a better person, memang lost lah kite. Jadi terkapai2 and hanyut. Yang kita cari kebahagian dalam hati and keredhaanNya.
Banyak kelemahan, in retrospect, yg perlu diperbaiki. Contohnya, dalam urus kewangan. Memang I alami kesusahan, tp I cannot deny, at times, masa senang dulu I tak think too far ahead, malah discounted the facts that I may face difficult times. Jadi, kalau berangan nak jaga prinsip, as most of us do, in difficult times, it really helps to have a stash of cash somewhere to help in rainy days. Prinsip satu, wise pun satu.
I had faced situations di mana ejen sewa bilik tak kisah yg org sewa bilik lain ada dadah ( ada barang itu linggonya), jual atau guna, buat bisnes urut klien dtg ke bilik ( yg terbaru ..akak pondan pulak, ingatkan boinpren sekali oenyewa lain kate, ada sehari tue, sampai lima org dtg tak putus2 ke bilik akak kite tue..ganazzz! Mungkin urut tradisional je kowt ..).. asal bayar sewa ejen kata ..baru ingat yg bagai neraka juga bertahan masa ada akak penagih dadah and buat bisnes urut kat bilik dia while hubby dia bawak anak 3 org main kat dapur atau kat bawah ..sebab akak tue tak stabil, threaten me with pisau kata jgn kacau urusan dier ( tahu dia nak cari duit..kenchang bis dia tau ..ada ja customer, satu malaysia..semua bangsa datang ..padahal akak tu kurus keding mcm lidi ..urut tang mana kata kite dan semua yg tahu ..ai lah yg sibok ngomel, dari ke manajemen ke usetaz, sbb mintak tolong bila ejen buat tak kesah ..masa akak n fmly mula2 masuk, semua barang bagi pinjam ( yg mana ada) ..sbb kecian kat anak kecil die ..tapi dia lahar dgn kata kesat, kata aku gay lah, berlagak alimlah, ajaran sesat lah ..mcm2 perkataan keluar..in shock jugak sebab terfikir..dia nie mental ke? Kmdn, malam2 bergaduh, menjerit dgn suami dia sampai neibor complain.
Kalau buka masa susah, memang tak duduk di situ tp sebab beringat takut job tak masuk, and at times memang betul pun, lambat payment and etc ..at least bebab bayaran tak besar. Namun, bila berdepan pengalaman ngeri mcm tue, mmg horror ..kesian pun ade ..
Yg dadah pulak, sampai polis berapa kali ketuk bilik, terkejut berowk jadinya sebab nak buat spot check ..mujur tak disuspect sebab kita tak buat tapi kena tempelak sbb org sewa bilik buat ..
Yg kes encountered tue orang melayulah. Sesusah ai, diorang nie ada family …tp resorted to dadah and illicit methods .. it makes me think that, memang tengah struggle semua dok kl ni. Bukan ai sorang je..
Sahkan ai yg ada kononnya degree dari top u, menang award antarabangsa, konon retis bbnu ( versi tua ke arah kilauan emas jr) pun terkapai – kapai dipukul ombak …
Teringat anak2 akak tue ..yg pompuan sulong tue..ambhoi dah mencarut dgn perasaan ..apa lah agaknya nasib dia nanti …kecik2 dah ikut mak dia maki saya setan, puki, babi ..ingatkan saya orang jahat …how terseleweng pemikiran ..nanti kalau jumpa setan betul mcm mana, ingat manusia, ingat malaikat?
Budak tue tak salah, tp cuba kena hambur setiap hari oleh budak pompuan yg ala mungkin sekolah rendah nak naik menengah, they all kan time nie rebel and mulut pun baru upgrade kepedasan. Cuba hala kat diri sendiri ..mahunya dicili ..tp I dunnow how to deal with it. Dah lahanak org, walau berkongsi rumah, we are strangers. Wished it was different. Wish heppy ending, we allz jadi rapat bak fmly and masuk unsur2 hidayah. Kita yg pun strugel nak keep up solat nie pun terbukak biji mata bila nengok kesan kalau org tak semayang, how far they can go ..akak n fmly dia nie I wish dia kasar n mulut perangai puaka kat luar je tp semayang tak tinggal, tapi hakikatnya memang tak ..but I remember during those trying times, I just pray her some happiness. Sebab org pointed out, sebab sampai gigi gusi dia pun shrivelled mcm org tua, badan kurus anarexia ..memang guna dadah ..and seksi konfiden tahap dewa ..
Nak tergelak pun ada. I survived that. Berapa orang keluar masuk bilik2 lain masa akak n fmly dia bermaharajalela ..dia malah suka cari gaduh dgn org ..tp ejen rumah ala buat tak heran ..akceli tak kesah ..asalkan duit masuk ..dia tak campur katenya ..
haish ..kdg2 rasnya mcm kena berdoa keras utk ejen rumah nie..kelantan kelantanlah jugak kan …tp kalau buat dek aje ..cian kat org lain.
kah2 ..yep..I bertahan sampai dapat job besar n betul2 yakin dpt commit sewa besar sblm pindah. I guess, itulah rencam hidup menyewa bilik di kota.
insy, with the right attitude, boleh je survive
Pic credit to Lisa Ericson, ThisisColassal.com