“I love the story of Harold Arlen, a famous Hollywood composer in the golden era of movies, who was assigned to write the music for The Wizard of Oz. Arlen worked steadily at it, and he thought he had done a good job. But one song was lacking, the special one that he knew the score needed, the topper. Nothing would come, so Arlen gave up for the day and took his wife to lunch. On the way down Sunset Boulevard he suddenly told his wife, who was at the wheel, to pull over. Arlen scribbled some notes on a scrap of paper, which turned out to be the music for a song called “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
“In many ways, artists and creators know best how to receive the soul, because they attune themselves to inspiration. Inspiration doesn’t happen randomly. It’s always a matter of call and response. The need goes out, and the solution appears. So take a creative attitude toward your own inner growth. Be aware of your need and watch for the response. When asked how he came up with such great music, Harold Arlen said, “I drift, wait, and obey.” It wouldn’t hurt to take heed of that credo, which is simple but profound.”
Excerpt From: Chopra, Deepak. “Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul: How to Create a New You.”
My 16 thousand
I never once really felt guilty, bad me perhaps, of spending all that money, my winnings from Japan, years and years ago. Though, some hindsight could have been handy.
As I read Chopra’s recollections of the popular notion ‘ stumbling upon happiness’ in
Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert’s 2006 book, it is said that many a millionaire, wished they had never won in the first place. Some ended up worse off than before. The sun didn’t shine twice as bright, in fact, winning a lottery ( which is gambling on luck, not recommended) may as well dissapoints many a winner for being less than extraordinary.
Happiness, do happens unexpectedly. But if we rely on our ego and not the soul, we might end up lost.
I find myself enjoying Deepak Chopra’s writings nowadays. Guiltily, I avoided him a while back because of a comment depicting him being a bit of a snake oil charmer, when it comes to healing. I forgot the exact story and accusations, until, I gave my chance to read his books again now. I’ve read and known about him throughout the years, and reading his book now serves a lot like a reminder, clarifier to me.
Something that I already know, but poignantly described without pretense , in a heartwarming and cogent manner I enjoy. I have long stopped reading soul or wisdom books in malay, for quite some time, to think that our forefathers were the beacon of lights in the past thousand of years in this part of the world, spreading knowledge and guiding souls to reach salvation and etc.
I remember reading Gary Zumav’s Authentic Power, if I’m not mistaken, one of the first books I bought using my winning money. It was a relevation. He so speaks to me. I feel, yes, I ship this, soo much. There in my tiny little corner in the hostel in uni X, I thought I reached nirvana. I was happy.
And so, how this book from Deepak is so doing the same to me. This has been a few of the books I has been reading under the category of Mind Body classification in my ibook app.
Why I hurriedly, though not in a day ( one might wish) to finish spending it? One incident popped up on my mind …my father telling me that he and step mom was thinking of doing some renovations for the kitchen and bathroom. The fact that they wanted to keep the bank book ( it was ASB), made me felt so insecure. I don’t know if it was a joke, or is that I felt betrayed …and me not being very family centric, why not? Hack away, build another annex for all you wish, I should have been filial, I should not harbor such negative thoughts about his intentions …
I bid my time. By the time I got the book, there was no turning back.
Maybe.. haish..they were just testing me …
I thought about giving myself presents. I thought about all and everything that I couldn’t get while growing up, and I went head over heels, shopping for it. Anything money can buy.
All the books. All the f&@£ing audiobooks, which were expensive and ellicit have me, I am for thr connesiours, I went and take it all to the cash registers by the baskets.
All the clothes that never had been given a choice to have, I forgo choices, I created my own category, and I aced it. Talk about tissue paper clothe, anyone?
I bought gadgets. My first ever handphone, which I bought on my own, which happens to be the one that lusted for soo long that I had forgotten about it because am broke and dad would never gotten me one, we are talking uni time. Okay, years ago. It was some sort of luxury ( think telcos being a bit profit driven …anyone? Instead of liberating tech, anyone? Hrmmm on my own, again ..)
I bought the first handphone crafted by SONY. It has this rotating dial to navigate the menu, ko mampooo! Katenya, it won the best design not too long ago. Cumanya, dah le menang a long time ago,and by the time I got hold of dough, it seems eons in the digital timeline.
You know how I knew about that phone, I saw it in my friend’s room. It was an old newspaper. He used it as alas on top of his book cupboard, which comes up to below the chest in height.
Dreams do come true.
Though the merchants of Sg Wang was not very enthusiastic and shared my sentiments. They were puzzled why I still insist on searching for that model because by the dah ada flips lah, nokia yg tolak reveal the keyboard ..paling mahal kowt yg tue ..but na na nah ..SONY it is.
I got it. A light brownish kinda gold metalic coloured one. It was MAXIS. WHICH somehow happened to be an account I serviced later in my consulting days. Way way, like way ahead in the future.
I didn’t get to jaga SONY, but at one time, another team from the same firm, was hadling it. Masa tue dah SONY ERICSON kan dah ..
To say the least. Even after all that, I can go on and on retelling the stories of how almost like kera masuk pekan, although stylish-ly I might presumed, I tried to live it up.
But, in the end, as time and times again, revealed also later in my life, money can’t cure evrything. It can’t buy the thing that I needed the most, probably..the thing I was missing was love. I was not all the woser in this. Even today, I might just be as guillable to repeat the same mistakes again.
Macam lohong kan. After years of suffering, finally you earned it, and you want to be happy…
Tak salah, in soo many ways. But in one way, it does, it always got out of hand. In one aspect, I soo longed for the money, after enduring such and suchs hardships, tapi ..I don’t know how, it seems to slip away.
Maturing up, painfully, I am learning, albeit slowly, how to control this frightened aspect of myself, when it comes to money.
Orang2 yg dengki kata wow menan duit masa study and muda ..tp the truth is, one does not now, when I started work, I was bullied, pay was low, no where to go ..
Maybe, Tuhan bagi tue, kalau I beringat, as cashd, as a stash utk depani masa susah ..
I let fear took hold of me.
Although, I kononnya have lots of faith in Him, mujurnya while going thru such and suchs hardship, sepatutnya I menggeleng2 kepala, because I shud be more alert.
I akan diuji. Hahah ..takde masa ak enjoi till like blissfully ..sampai tak tahu bila..
Sekejap je ..tergadah ..tergadah ..walau takdelah smpai ai mengeluh sangat, bcos I know it is good for my training, tp honestly, I rasa mcm tak malu ke, berubah la, simpan for rainy days ..
i tend to buy things, you know, okay, good bargains, buy. Good quality, buy. Tapi, bila pokai, those hard bargain goods takleh ditukar jadi makanan pun …
Dulu2 bangang berusaha beli vitamins and supplements..kah ..salah ajaran tul!
Samalah dgn baju2 yg cantik. Ai tak tahu dulu cara nak jaga. Dry cleaning pun mcm tak abih blaja. Plus, bil pokai, bukan setakat dobby tak terhantar, but not too long ago, mmg tak reti kenapa I mmg tak boleh push myself to basuh baju n what nots.
Spoiled brat kan.
Tp I thought I was the suffering one here.
It may sounds funny tp all these years, I try and fail and try again to just learn to take care of myslef, basically learning the art of leaving. Even bila ai figure out mcm mana nak hantar slef service laundry, or basuh baju sendiri..rasa berdepan dgn something unknown sangat . . Memasak, kdg2 jadi kdg2 tak, dapatlah jugak makan. Survive.
I am learning. To some, it is laughable.
Tapi for me, it is a great cause celebre. I don’t know if I should look down and pity myself at this point, tp at times, I am proud, bersyukur, I am doing it.
I think at times, I may have even been brave.
Money, what I can do with it, with lots lots of it.
Tapi, surprisingly, in my lowest of low, I could go on,mcm orang yg tak ada apa. But I have faith, that, please God Almighty, don’t take it from me.
I decided to enjoi life. Supaya ai tak makan ati later in life. To feel happy. NOW. That was how I worded it.
How can one vanish or telan semua kesakitan and grief of 21 years with only 16k, plus 5k the next year, when I won at another one.
I remember giving out alms and tolong org and causes too, tp lets just say, its best to act forgetful of the good deeds we do.. so, maybe tak banyak pun ..
I am blaming myself, but in my deepest glee, it was soo ‘happening’ to be that reckless and not to think about money ..
Which is apa nama ..a fool and money is a big party ..and so on and so on..
Whatever it is people’s judgement, I bought experiences. I bought books about things I love. On health, enlightenment and love.
But, those things, that are free, yg banyak org get it everyday, although I am not complaining, I mcm x ada.
Kalau x ada Allah as my pillar, I don’t know. One can’t just survive on His love aje in tnis world, speaking in practical manner. Tp, lagi ai idup..kdg2 itulah yg mungkin Allah nak drive me to see..
…..That …look at the petty worldly love..none was true..none sticks to you until the end.. almost all are lies, it is cruel, but it is truth ..and only I, am eternal and love manifest ..all you ever will need ..
Scary. Utk berlepas harap n tangan berpegang pd something ..but at times, ai x de benda lain nak berpegang, only Him kan …so, who am I to be choosy?
At least, the eternal truth is, He never abandoned me, yet.
Pic credit to ShihChiehHuang, ThisisColassal.com