When I was 13, my father sent me back to Kelantan to study in a religious school. I didn’t like it because I felt I was uprooted, leaving my friends and my life in the so called KL. Why not a school in KL, why not Bukit Bintang Boys School? Why .. Why
Alas, I was powerless against the powers that be, so I bid my time, or so I thought. Unbeknownst to all of us, a special exam was scheduled to give a chance for the Peralihan students to jump to form one, saving one year and be with their peers in the normal schools. I thought this was finally the chance for me to prove to my Baba that I’m not stupid and I can work hard, maybe..maybe if I scored well, he will will say yes, I can go back packing to KL. And ideally, life goes back to normal.
Alas, perancangan Yang Maha Kuasa tak siapa dapat meramal ..gitchew
I did give my all. From memorizing bits and pieces to paragraphs and sonnets to hadis and etc.. semua dalam arab ..it was mind boggling. Sebab i tak de formal sekolah agama background in my primary school days ( just a 2-3 years of kelas Quran and Masjid based classes .. not proper class rooms like today’s). Tapi, nak jadikan crite ..I hafal semua yang ada.
Nak ceritanya is ..I envisioned I dapat 905 out of 1000 full marks. Entah macam mana I got that figure tapi I managed to get THAT number, like ..exactly. Jadi mobor satu plak tue. Mind boggling ya amat. miracle upon miracle for me sebab lepas dapt 3A 1B, and my father’s response like I didn’t fare good enough, I was down.
I never thought I had it in me untuk kerja keras macam tue. Of course, my late nenek helped a lot dengan prepare air bacaan ayat Quran ..yg for me was quite bizzare jugak masa tue ..why ..why ..tapi alhmd, all in all, i got that mark.
Although, I didn’t get what I really wanted in the end ( that’s another story), I am reminded of this story of the power of positive thinking and pentingnya menjaga our mind dr negativity.
When I call Mr X (L), dia pun emphasize tentang the importance of being positive and guarding my mind, especially after asar and sebelum subuh. It is coincidentally gak, sebab 2 nights in a row, I ended up a bit insomniac.
I ended up watching Women of Dignity korean drama series ( that will be another story, insy) and starting on Hwajung.
I realised, contohnya, last two nights, I started reading on Positive Habits and How the Secret Changed My Life books, how I was positively impacted by it the next day. I made my prospective client calls, didn’t budge nor flinch when rejected atau call didn’t go through. That’s how upbeat I was.
I think that is the biggest lesson I have to learn and improve. As much as I think I am just an ordinary human being I think I have to believe that at least our mind is a different thing all together. It can make or break, and can take us to somewhere miraculous and filled with happiness. So, inilah my assignment!
Oh ya, I punya wish is to belajar origami. Nak sangat, bila nak start tak tau. Tapi buku2 dah ada..in my mind dah dapat rasa ..and I want to share my journey in this. Memang lah lari dari music sikit ( kalau tak banyak) ..tapi it is something of a challenge, kalau boleh.
Image credit to Thomas Medicus, ThisisColassal